Where does disappointment go when it is done with you?
When all of the hurts and pangs of the unrealized
have stripped you of joy and rendered your eyes red and raw,
where is its offender? Where is it?
Disappointment, like so many emotions,
renders the king among us
as low as the plowman.
It buckles us, knees on floor.
There is no undoing, no going back.
We can’t unsay the words, become unhurt.
Disappointment takes its toll,
demands its payment.
Left barren, a bit less than before,
disappointment has taken something away.
It absconds with a little piece of the soul,
snickering over its shoulder as it trots away, unseen, on its dark horse.
The shadows fall long and thin.
The world dims, daylight less bright.
We realize we will never be as whole as we once were,
in the moments before it claimed us.
We can’t give as much, we haven’t it to give.
The cistern empties, too low to share.
Even breath is shallow.
The taking of it a reminder of the thing missing.
And people ask what is wrong,
but they don’t really want to know.
They want a simple answer,
something quickly mended.
They don’t want the sharp,
shards of truth stabbing in the eye.
They want to see something fixable,
not the pallor of disappointment.
For when disappointment finds us,
It leaves no trace of its presence.
The scar is internal, no ridge on flesh.
No bandage is visible, nothing to pull away.
Where does disappointment go when the well is dry
and the barren tree has no more fruit?
It goes into the heart, a borer worm,
And eats away at hope daring to bloom.
Poem by Renee C. Johnson
Writingfeemail's Blog 
Poignant, Renee, obviously written from your heart.
It’s much easier to write about fun, happy things. I have difficulty with vulnerability, but am working on that. Thanks, Dianna!
‘It absconds with a little piece of the soul,
snickering over its shoulder as it trots away, unseen, on its dark horse.’
This poem is written from experience and I can taste that barren fruit. Excellently written Renee, one of the best meanings of disappointment and it’s dark legacy that I’ve ever read.
Wow. Thank you Sherri. I’m glad you found something meaningful in it.
I really did Renee, thank YOU.
Great piece, Renee. If you’d asked me five/six years ago I possibly wouldn’t have known what you mean. Now I do. Mourning the living dead (my siblings). As to your last paragraph: Yes and no: Eating away most certainly. Hope? You can rekindle hope only for so long till it’s just ashes with the odd flicker if no one helps to find new fire wood or at least a few sticks.
I truly hope that whatever has brought on those thoughts of yours does not afflict you.
U
Ursula, I love your thought about finding new wood or a least a few sticks to rekindle with. I am trying to open myself up a bit more and as I replied to Dianna, work on being vulnerable. I’ve had to be strong for so long that to appear otherwise is difficult for me. Thank you.
Such a sad poem. But beautifully expressed.
Thank you, Maureen!
If your poem is the voice of an open wound in your heart, I hope it heals soon. Bless your heart.
You’re truly a talented writer. Your poem hits home and echoes the sad truths of disappointment and longing.
I can feel the warmth in your comment. Thank you dearly.
(((hugs)))
**We can’t give as much, we haven’t it to give.
The cistern empties, too low to share.
Even breath is shallow.
The taking of it a reminder of the thing missing.**
My favorite stanza.
Gorgeously written, Renee. x
I completely understand how that stanza would resonate with you. Sometimes we just hold each other up. Hugs right back!
This is so beautiful, Renee.
“We realize we will never be as whole as we once were, in the moments before it claimed us.” I doubt anyone who reads this can’t relate to those words.
I do try and believe that there is hope on the other side of disappointment. Thank you for sharing your lovely poem.
Thank you, Jill. We all have wounds and it’s time to let a few of mine breathe.
My favourite kind of poem Renee! From the heart, raw, truthful and wonderfully wrought. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for visiting and leaving such a lovely comment.
Wow, Renee. You’ve taken my breath away with this poem. Love the ending: “It goes into the heart, a borer worm,
And eats away at hope daring to bloom.” Great quote.
I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thank you Monica.
Reblogged this on quirkywritingcorner and commented:
Well written
Thanks for the ‘reblog’. I appreciate you!!
Very true…and well said!
Thank you Mary.
So solidly developed. Strong imagery “shards of truth stabbing in the eye.” Plus startk reality everyone can identify with (want something fixable)
A vicious thing that renders all then “eats away” at any brave attempt at recovery.
Dark and real. Well done
Thank you. Sometimes we have to get ‘real’ and give the darkness its due. It helps to let it out.
Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
DISAPPOINTMENT IN SOLILOQUY
Thanks Jonathan!
There would be few who this would not ring true. It smacks you in the face with the intensity and truth. Very profound.
Thank you Michelle. I hope there are those among us who don’t know the feeling, but I fear it would be hard to find anyone who hadn’t experienced deep disappointment at least once.