My son played baseball from the time he was five years old right through every league and into college. We often traveled long distances for his games and would sit outside in the wind and rain, heat and sun, or cold blustery nights. My lips often chapped and I developed a habit of keeping chapstick in every vehicle and seat pocket to moisturize not only my lips, but the dry cracked skin around them.
You know how that is.
And once upon a time, lipbalm that came in a tube was totally colorless. I found out about the tinted ones a little too late.
You see, my friends and family knew that I had an affinity for the stuff and generously supplied me with a variety one year at Christmas. I added them to my stash in our well-travelled Tahoe.
Late one night after a particularly windy and cold early spring game, I retrieved a tube from the glove compartment and smeared it all over and around my sore lips. I didn’t bother to look, not knowing that I needed to and since it was dark, my husband noticed nothing.
Then we reached an intersection near our home and encountered a random vehicle check by State Patrol. While my husband looked through his wallet for his license, I smiled at the officer as he shone his light into the vehicle and assured him I would get the registration.
As I flipped through the documents I noticed he kept the flashlight on me instead of my husband – the driver. He had an odd expression on his face and asked if we lived near there and if we were alright – again focusing on me.
Of course I continued to smile and answer politely, handing over the registration. The look he gave me was one of near shock, although he finally addressed my husband and after checking the addresses, waved us through.
It wasn’t until I started down the hall and caught my reflection in the mirror – insert shrill scream here – that I realized why he was so stricken by my appearance. And as my husband followed me into the lighted hallway – insert another scream here – he thought I had bloodied my nose or bitten my lip.
I ran back to the vehicle and rubbed the raspberry tinted chapstick over my hand and realized what I had done. Then we laughed like hyenas and I still do every single time I think of this.
A friend did something similar today and as I retold this to her, we both howled with the kind of belly laughing that brings tears to your eyes and makes your lips curl up in the ‘ugly’ laugh. Once we recovered, she told me that I had to write about this.
Has anything like this happened to you?